SAHM, WAHM, SAHWM... I'm a mom
In september, I decided to go back to work but only nights and weekends to help our family income. Being able to still stay at home during the day with the kids because let's face it, daycare for 2 is like paying another mortgage payment. It is not easy living on one income as well and less wine is consumed and that's not ok! One of the other big reasons for going back is adult interaction. The 3 year old trapped in my body goes a little wild when adults are around, so I needed to reel that in a bit. Working again after almost 2 years, has been a little eye opening! I work with a great bunch of people and it truly feels like a nice work family. I'm not just saying that knowing that a significant amount of them will probably read this, I mean it!
Eye opening in the aspect of how my relationship has changed and how the things we all take for granted are the things I now miss the most. Let's drop some truths and feelings here:
Relationship: When you work during the day you are all in your own places, work, daycare, school, etc. Then you all come together at night and do the usual routine of dinner, baths and bed. That goes away when you work a night shift. We swap out. Make a quick update of how the day went, if I hadn't already texted her 100 times in the day because I was losing my ever loving mind, and then I'm off to work. It's about 30 minutes in between that we get to spend with each other before I see her again after 10pm. That's also the time I give my love to the kids and my good night kisses.
Now the time that we do get together is about 30 minutes after I get home before one of us passes out from pure exhaustion. Planned nights out without the kids are a must. We obviously try to spend them not talking about the kids but let's face it, the first 2 hours is an off load of things we need to do or what one of them did one day and so on!
Friends have come and gone and come and gone and then come back again. This is a hard one for me as I work a lot and the time I do have is spent doing something with my family. The ones that want to stay and enjoy my swiss cheese friendship will stay. The others will move on and maybe check in from time to time. At times I feel bad that this is the new norm for me but I know that the right ones will be in it for the long haul!
Relationship with my kids I don't feel has changed as much but I'm sure in time it will. I'm sure to them I'm the good cop since I'm not trying to put them to sleep when all they want to do is play! That's where the next subject comes in!
Bed time:
What use to be tackling this night time routine together is now rested on one set of shoulders (thank god they are strong ones)! Let's be honest, even the most scheduled and most routine bed time will sometimes end in a mess, constantly getting up or needing something. Kids will be kids no matter how strict you are. If you have a perfect bedtime go down every night, write a book about your secrets or spread them around the internet like wild fire, every parent will thank you!
I know my kids are young and they will never remember these days but I will and they will only be little for so long. I quickly came to the realization that I'll be their morning person, even when I don't want to be!
Growth, cuddles and everything inbetween:
As my kids get older, I'm missing some of the night time growths that my wonderful wife gets to see or experience. The cuddles at night, when the kids cooperate, or the nightly book reading or even playing. I'm sure Tammy feels like she misses the day time stuff that I get to enjoy. I feel like as a parent you are always going to miss something, the first crawl, walk, word and all the fun stuff! I'm now starting to realize that it is ok to miss some of those things because when you see it, it will be your first time. It may not be their but it is yours. This was hard (and still kind of is) to grasp for me but I'm working through it. Aberdeen being our last kid, I feel like I don't want to miss any of it (that's a whole other post as well)!!
Are you still with me? I know this is a long one! I feel as a parent me want to catch and see it all. We want to be in every moment but let's be real here, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! That would require you to be with your children every waking moment and every day of their lives. We all need a damn break. We all need to get away! STOP feeling guilty about going away for that weekend or for those few nights you don't put them to bed. Enjoy the times you do! That's when you cuddle them a little longer or read them another book!
Comments
Post a Comment