Eat, Sleep & Breath Breastfeeding
Harper and I lasted 13 months before he chose that it was time. I am still shocked by the 13 months. My biggest struggle was supply. The more you stress the less you produce. When I started going back to work I didn't realize how much time and commitment I would have to make just to produce the amount of milk that I needed to give Harper on a daily basis. I also didn't realize how much milk he actually drank. If I was a cow it still wouldn't have been enough.
The longer you breast-feed the more you realize that you eat, sleep and breathe it! It is just something that is now part of your daily routine and you have to think about every single aspect of your life. Your life now revolves around breastfeeding! I'm sure you're asking yourself, why would anyone want to do that? Because for me it's the bond! It's also the sense of accomplishment that I can produce something to feed and nourish my child. Now sit back and think about that. I'm producing food in my body for my baby to sustain. To have a full belly day in and day out. I don't think that could get any more organic!
Now, I have a baby that sleeps through the night. We are extremely lucky and I do not take that for granted. With Harper he woke up every 2 hours to feed for almost the first three months of his life (he still doesn't sleep well). It was exhausting! There were nights that I wanted to give up so bad but I didn't! Key to success: a great support system!
Let me give you a little taste of how my day tends to go. Usually Aberdeen will wake around 5 a.m. to have her first morning feeding but before that I have already woken up around 2 a.m. to pump because I'm so engorged that I feel like I'm wearing rocks. Sometimes I feel like I'm wearing boulders. The other night I decided to set an alarm (usually it's the pain from the boulders that wake me to pump) well it backfired! Not only did I wake myself, but also the baby and poor Tammy! Won't be doing that again! Early one morning, I was extremely full and I was trying to adjust when I noticed my milk shot out like a rocket and landed on Tammy's head. I wasn't going to say anything but she sat up a little and wiped the top of her head like something was on it! It took everything out of me not to literally laugh out loud!
Some days after our 5 a.m. feeding I will try to sleep for maybe a hour or more. Crazy I know but to get a little extra sleep is always a good thing! On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays that doesn't happen. So Tuesdays and Thursdays Aberdeen, Harper and I will try to sneak in a few extra hours of sleep! Now we're up and getting ready for the day. Most of the time I'll sacrifice my shower until later in the day, usually when the kids are both napping! The kids are fully dressed and looking adorable while mom is a hot mess! Three days out of the week were usually out of the house by 7:30 in the morning dropping Tammy off at work. Then off to school for Harper and back home for Aberdeen and I. Now feedings are usually about 3 hours so by the time I get home we're sitting on the couch and doing another feeding. After that half hour to 45 minutes I'll get whatever I can get done till 11:30 when we have to go and get Harper from school. If I time everything just right, I'm able to go get Harper, make him his lunch and be able to sit down and feed Aberdeen before she loses it!
Now it's nap time! Harper is hopefully sleeping, Aberdeen sometimes sleeps and mommy is in the shower trying to feel somewhat normal and not look like the mom zombie everyone talks about! Some days that doesn't happen, dry shampoo is truly my best friend! Now sometimes I get lucky and both kids will nap for an hour at the same time so I'll be able to enjoy a little extra quiet time to myself. Most of the time that consist of me doing something work-related or binge-watching whatever Netflix show I'm watching at the time (right now its the 100)! Again it's all about timing, if I time it just right I can go pick up Tammy from work and get back home in time to feed. On a very rare occasion that will happen, if that doesn't happen then I'll feed her one side put everyone in the car and pick up Tammy. Once I get home I'll finish feeding her. Now it's getting dinner together for everybody and hopefully enjoying a hot meal myself.
Night time usually happens the same, bathtime, a little bit of TV and then off to bed for Harper. I'll feed Aberdeen right around the time that Harper goes to bed. Most nights I'll tell myself that I'm going to sit and watch a show and enjoy some time with my wife but I end up falling asleep within 5 minutes of us turning it on! Then I wake up 2 a.m. and start the cycle all over again! When I say I eat sleep and breathe it I'm not kidding.
Labor Day weekend we went to a party. I got this really cute new dress that I wanted to wear (got to show off that body I missed the last 9 months). I quickly realized that I had no way of feeding in that dress unless I pull down the shoulder and basically exposed 75% of my chest. I was happy to be able to wear that dress but now trying not to show everybody what my boobs look like was going to be a challenge! I wore that damn dress because I wanted to feel pretty. One morning, I got ready like I usually do but forgot one key thing, breast pads. Now some of you will understand what that means, for those of you that don't, it means the second I have a let down there will be nothing there to catch it except for my bra and shirt. Think of it this way, I'm kind of like a leaking hose, when you turn it on it starts spraying out EVERYWHERE. Now you can just imagine how I'm feeling as I'm about to drop my child off at preschool. So in my quick mom fashion I say where's those Dunkin Donuts napkins! You better bet I put those bad boys to good use!
At the very beginning most of my meals were done while feeding the baby. A friend once joked with me and said thank God moms don't eat hot meals. I'm also happy, so far, my child does not have any food allergies because I can't tell you how many times I've dropped something on her or even look down to see that the chocolate from my ice cream has dripped all over her clothes. When do you think I can write this blog? About 90% of the time it's while I'm breastfeeding. It's the only time in my day where I can actually sit down and do nothing (don't forget the Netflix shows)!
Now I tell you these stories not to make you feel bad for me or to wonder why I would sacrifice so much for something like this. I tell you this because when I'm at a party with you or you see another woman breastfeeding, I want to give you an insight as to how some of us feel. And what may be going through our heads at that moment. My suggestion to you is this, ask them if they need something to drink. Get them a plate of food or dessert that is being handed out. Watch their other kid for them, even if it's just for 15 minutes. Maybe the child they are feeding is having a hard time latching and you're noticing this, offer up a quiet place for them to sit. Also, don't be afraid to sit and have a conversation with them. A little bit of support goes a long way.
In the end a fed baby is the best baby!
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