Going from 3 to 4

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Any day now my life will change. It will change in all the right ways. All the ways that I have wanted it to change! I'll have my little girl! But then there will be the scary change. It will no longer just be Harper, Tammy and Myself. We will have another little human here with us! 

For the past 3 years, it has just been our little family of 3. Gosh, I have been so grateful for that and I couldn't have asked for anything more. Then we got pregnant with our little girl! When that happened, it never really occurred to me that we would not be a family of 3 anymore but a family of 4. One little number can change so much in your life. I didn't realize it then and even now, it still hasn't set in.

Yes, there is a little human growing inside me and moving around every chance she gets but it's not the same as the real life, in the flesh thing and the fact that this will be it for me. The last pregnancy, the last breastfeeding journey. The last time I will get to watch one of my babies rollover or walk. Next question you ask yourself (or you're probably thinking) is "Are you done having children?" My answer is, Yes! Being a family of 4 is something I always dreamed of but never thought it would happen. So this will be it! 

Children have a way of adapting to situations but I fear he will be upset, scared that we left him or brought this other human into our lives and shook up the world that he knows. Harper and I do so much together. Just the 2 of us! I believe that the balancing act will become a lot for me but something I must do. My promise to him, during this transition, to take the time to do the things we always did together. To just do Ommie and Harper adventures. To involve him in everything that I can and make sure he does not feel left out. I promise to be PATIENT with him, even if I am feeling irritable and tired. 

Some of you have been blessed with just having one child and that's amazing. Some of you are still pushing to have that first one, don't give up! Some of you have been blessed with having many babies, a thing to be truly grateful for. What ever your situation may be just know, you are not alone in feeling afraid. Girl, I'm scared! Wow! The first time I have really admitted that! I'm not scared for the chaos and insanity that I will feel ( I welcome it because my life will never be boring again) but for the emotions of this being my last and for Harper, because let's face it moms, it is not just about us!

So, if you are having all these fears and more, stand up, take a look around and say "I am mom hear me roar!" Because you are a strong and beautiful woman and these little people will now look up to us for the rest of our lives and theirs! 

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